Ghosts, Bathrooms and Pumpkin Earrings
by Locked in a Stony Tower
Summary: Draco doesn't just meet Myrtle and Harry in the bathroom...a conversation that has a rather hard time staying on topic...whatever that topic might be...rated t because Draco has a bit of a potty mouth...


**Prompt: **_From Bad Mum via the Sober Universe Fourum: _an encounter between Luna and Malfoy set some time between Harry's 5th year and Luna getting taken off the train at Christmas in DH. Doesn't have to be romantic, though it can be if the fancy takes you. Extra points if you involve Crabbe and Goyle in some way.

* * *

Draco let out a long breath, clutching the sides of the sink, staring at the mirror. The dim lights flickered annoyingly and he could hear that infernal ghost sniggering over something or other. Well at least she wasn't pretending to have problems, there was no way that he could stand listening to another snot nosed second year complain about a messed up potion, or how they failed their Transfiguration exam _again._

Nobody got it did they? Shit was happening and they needed to get their heads into one side of the war or the other.

"You know" Myrtle's voice drifted toward him "You remind me of another boy who used to come in here and cry"

"I'm not crying!" Draco snapped at the ghost, whirling round and throwing a half hearted hex at her before letting his wand fall to the ground

Mrytle dodged and floated around him, settling herself in the sink, more intent on being heard out than being dramatic for once. Draco ground his teeth and refused to turn and look at her.

"His name was Regulus Black" Myrtle's voice was disappointed

"The Blacks are dead" he hissed "I'm not" he paused, remembering the summer and slumped against the wall "I'm not…I'm not…I'm not…" he moaned, thinking all the while that he was as good as…

"Really?" came another voice, dreamily "It's true you're too solid to be a ghost, and to un-decomposed to be an Inferi, but you could be a projection of a Blibbering Humdinger"

Myrtle hissed at Luna, mad to have someone stealing her fun and flew out of the sink and down one of the toilets, splashing the whole floor with a flood of water

Draco turned and glared at the figure in front of him, small and pixie like with long blond hair (but not as blond as his) "Go away Loony"

"Yes, but you see I can't. A couple of first year girls just turned into Crabbe and Goyle when Mrs. Norris was walking by (and I think she must be infected with something even worse than Nargles) and I'd rather hide in here until sunset when Filch has bathed her than get turned into something else. Mrs. Norris doesn't come around here anymore, because of the Chamber opening here before, see"

Draco gaped at her "Crabbe and Goyle…"

"Yes, though they seemed rather pleased about it, I'm not exactly sure why" she said, looking rather puzzled as she tapped a Butterbeer cap against her nose.

"Damn them…" Draco muttered, picking up his bag and reaching for his wand (shaking off the toilet water in disgust). Straightening up he was about to leave when Luna said "It's for Pansy isn't it?"

"What?" Draco stopped dead "I'm sorry Loony, I don't know what you're on about, or what you've been smoking, but you clearly need your head examined"

"Examined?" she gave him a look of befuddlement "_I'm _not the one with an infestation of Nargles in my brain am I? But you and Harry are both covered in them!"

"Yeah well, Potter was mental last year wasn't he? Don't reckon anything's changed!" Draco was frustrated to be the one losing control. He was always the one who provoked others, not let them provoke him.

Luna gave him a severe look "If he was lying, Daddy would never have published his story. The Quibbler prints the truth that other publications are afraid of publishing"

Draco laughed. Here was his ammo "Listen Lovegood, the only thing that's more bogus than your father's news paper, is the fact that you're a Ravenclaw"

"But Harry was right" Luna pointed out "You-Know-Who was back"

"Yeah, but Lovegood" Draco laughed "The other stories, their full of bullshit, the whole _Sirius Black_ _is really Stubbly Boarman _thing, saying that he's innocent…"

"But he was innocent"

"But honestly Lovegood…he wasn't a singer…and then, the story about Fudge putting goblins in pies…that was complete bogus…"

"Why else was he sacked?"

"Because he's a complete incompetent git!"

"Does it hurt?" Luna asked suddenly, pointing at Draco's robed arm

"Don't know what you're talking about" Draco muttered.

A sinister formation of green stars over a ransacked empty house burned behind his eyes.

"The bite of course. You've been looking horrible all year. You've been bitten by a werewolf from the way you hold your arm sometimes"

Draco snarled at her "I am not werewolf scum, I am a pureblooded wizard of high talent who can trace his roots back to Morgan le Fay"

Luna gave him a mournful look "There's nothing wrong with being a werewolf. Professor Lupin's a werewolf, and he was the nicest teacher we ever had. I liked that he called me Luna. Not very many people do that you know. Most teachers call me Miss Lovegood."

"Yeah…well what does Snape call you?"

"Miss Lovegood, Lovegood, Infernal Dreamer, Ignorant Girl-"

"Okay, okay…" Draco trailed off, grinning slightly "Well he's got the third one right anyways"

"Yes perhaps" Luna agreed, hopping from one foot to the other, sending up small splashes of water.

Draco eyed the water critically "Lovegood, you're making more of a mess"

"There's a Merlinius Horned Crumpet in here listening to us" Luna hissed "I'm trying to let it know I won't hurt it, unless it's an inferi in disguise or something" her feet still splashed back and forth

"Yeah well I might hurt it, and if you get toilet water on my robes I might just hurt you" Draco warned her, paling slightly as she almost slipped "Lovegood, it's not going to feel good if you-"

"Oh!" Luna cried as she slipped and fell backwards hitting her head on the hard ground "That did hurt"

Draco groaned and offered her a hand pulling the Ravenclaw to her feet. Standing next to her, he marveled at her tiny height (almost a full foot smaller than him)

"Thank you Draco" she said "That was kind of you, I think Ronald must be wrong about you always being a git"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. You got water from the loo all over you and you probably got it on me too" she was wearing pumpkin earrings. _Pumpkins_ Draco groaned to himself. What next? _Zucchinis? _

"Draco?" Luna asked "Do you like Pansy?"

"What business is it of yours Lovegood? Do you like me or something? Well, I'm not much one for little Blood Traitors who look like fairies"

"I'm just asking" she said patiently and something in her big grey eyes made him relent a bit

"Well enough I suppose…my parents want me to like her. Say it's convenient"

"Would you like her if you were a girl?"

"Doubt it, she's a bit of a bitch to other girls, and if I was a girl…well then, I don't think I would be after birds then…what's with the questions Lovegood? I swear if you're writing a story about me…"

"Oh no, just wondering why you would be okay with going out where Mrs. Norris is running around switching people's gender. And I figured you thought you'd have a better chance with Pansy if you were a girl"

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard about me Lovegood"

"Oh, I don't know…Harry Potter seems to think you're a Death Eater"

"Oh? And you don't believe him?"

"Should I?" she asked, rather dreamily "Well I believe he thinks so, but I doubt it. It's much more likely that you've made some daring scheme up to get your father out of Azkaban"

"Oh…well suppose I am? Who would you tell?"

"Oh…no one…because I suppose if it was my dad…I'd do whatever I could to rescue him. Because I already miss my mum and I would be substantially unhappier if I was all alone"

"Yeah well…don't you have Potter and Granger and the Weasley dorks and Longbottom?"

"Oh yes…and all of the DA has been rather nice too…but still, it's not the same as having parents who care for you…especially when you're an only child"

"Like me" Draco murmured

"Yes" Luna agreed, peeking out the door "I think Mrs. Norris should be decontaminated by now. Well, good bye Draco. And thanks very much for talking to me. If you liked Ronald and Harry a little more, you might even be my friend"

Draco watched her skip down the hall, her long hair swaying behind her and turn toward the Great Hall. He cursed under his breath, not really knowing why and then left to go find Crabbe and Goyle.

But for some reason, he could not get the picture of swaying blond hair and tiny feet skipping down the hall out of his mind.

* * *

It could be better, but I'm satisfied. I tried as hards as I could to keep both in charecter, but the only insane charecter J.K.R. ever showed Draco with was "Aunt Bella" so I had so just try the best I could...


End file.
